i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
