Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
