So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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