in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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