the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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