I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
