just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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