3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Randomize
