420 ftw
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
