so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
