he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
