Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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