First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
