i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
