The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize