I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
