Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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