I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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