This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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