Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
