Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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