Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
