I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
