I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
