I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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