They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
