He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
oh god the rape fog is back!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
