Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
