that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
