I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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