Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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