genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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