All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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