in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
