I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
