I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
