She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
