Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
