Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
