I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
