I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'd cum for enchiladas.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
