naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
