So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
