It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
she was so not down for the gang bang
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
