I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
