Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
