Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
