ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
im holly from the hills drunk
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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