Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
