Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
