operation have a gay friend backfired
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
