I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I don't deserve a penis
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
