yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
