Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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