he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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