I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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