I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
