My hand turned me down
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
