Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
