Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
